I found this little yellow spider this morning on my car. I examined it for a bit and my obsessive compulsive disorder started itching. What the hell kind of spider is this? I thought about it on my drive to work, mostly wondering if the wind blew him off my door and killed him; and if I’m late for work it’s because he stopped me from opening my car door—the bastard!
I took a snapshot and went on research mode. Turns out it’s a crab spider, and VENEMOUS!? (he looks big because I zoomed-and-cropped, but he’s probably the size of my pinky finger nail. . . nasty bug-ger)
There’s no venomous spiders in Canada? Well there goes everything I thought I knew about Canadian insect-ology. You’re a liar Mme Colborne! That’s my third grade teacher. In English class she used to change into a classy outfit, talk in an English accent, and pretend she was Mme Colborne’s twin sister from England. She was a nice woman, but a liar! I should of known she would lie about what can kill you in Canada.
I kept reading and found that these spiders are venomous, but too small to actually pierce your skin with their fangs. Even if they did manage to pierce the skin, there venom is too weak to even give you an itch. So I guess they can’t kill you, because WikiHow said so! Sorry Mme Colborne. You were the shit!
For more information on crab spiders please see link below: