To The Doormat In Me

You have the right to say no. Never apologize for your decisions. Explain yourself only at your discretion. Never feel pressure to defend your choice. You do not need a reason to put yourself first. Do not starve yourself to feed others. Do not fear loneliness. Serve you every day. Say “no” today. Say it … Continue reading To The Doormat In Me

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The Cure for Crazy

So I’ve been acting especially crazy lately and I’m not sure why. I’ve been monitoring my sugar intake, eating healthy, exercising regularly; but nothing seems to calm my inner-hyper-weird. My co-worker predicts it’s the moon. So I double checked, and it is in fact a full moon tonight. Coincidence? I think not! According to ancient philosophers, … Continue reading The Cure for Crazy

Maple Leaf Tulip – FAIL

Ottawa’s Tulip Festival highlighted the new “maple leaf” tulip over the weekend. In my opinion this new attraction is an enormous nosedive flop of a miscarriage. It was designed by The National Capital Commission and the Kingdom of the Netherlands; intended to mimic the Canadian Flag.  This is a picture of a Canadian flag: This … Continue reading Maple Leaf Tulip – FAIL

To My Friends and Family (In Case of Death)

In the words of Jerry Seinfeld: According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two! Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy. Dear friends and family, … Continue reading To My Friends and Family (In Case of Death)

My Cynical Response to all You Dick-Buckets on POF

Hey blankus, blankus, banana-nana-bo-blankus, You seem like an interesting cat! Perrrrrrr. I like your pictures, your skin looks amazing. My skin is not the greatest, but my doctor says that should be clearing up any day now. Those thick thighs though, and that bulge in your pants. . . Well let’s just say that swell is … Continue reading My Cynical Response to all You Dick-Buckets on POF